This song pretty much sums up the past 4 years. No one I know really wants to hear this story, but it's something I need to share.
I believe in a lot of things, and even the crap I've been put through, I openly choose to still believe in these things.
One belief is - love is the most powerful thing a person could feel. Unfortunately, pain runs right along side of it. When you combine the two, the feeling of heartbreak can crush a person.
As an adult, most of us are lucky enough to have found love at least once or twice, and typically we've also felt the heartbreak of losing that love.
I've been standing on the border of lost love for over a year now. I fell so hard long ago for this one person, that my mind wouldn't allow my heart to let it go fully. I never wanted to let myself feel the pain, so I kept one foot in, and allowed only a toe in the pool of despair.
I realize this was a bad move. Sometimes, you just have to let it all go, (please refer to post below).
I learned something about myself long ago, something I truly hate, but fear I may never change.
It takes me about 3 times to learn a solid life lesson.
I blame it on Disney mostly, but I have this overwhelming belief in love and I call it "hope."
I fell in love with a person because of the hope I felt. (Ridiculous reason if you ask me)
I gave my all to him and he trampled me to the pits of doom. He used my good qualities to get his way, and forcefully took them from me when I tried hard to keep them to myself.
Third time is a charm. My heart no longer feels the love I once felt, and frankly my mind is beyond fed up, not only with him, but myself.
Fire burns deep down in my soul, and it has ignited my strength.
Luckily, another thing I believe in, is karma. Yes, I believe we could have had it all- if he would have changed his ways long ago, but now- now, he will get it all.
All I can say, is watch out, and don't underestimate the things that I will do to ensure we both get what we deserve.
I believe in a lot of things, and even the crap I've been put through, I openly choose to still believe in these things.
One belief is - love is the most powerful thing a person could feel. Unfortunately, pain runs right along side of it. When you combine the two, the feeling of heartbreak can crush a person.
As an adult, most of us are lucky enough to have found love at least once or twice, and typically we've also felt the heartbreak of losing that love.
I've been standing on the border of lost love for over a year now. I fell so hard long ago for this one person, that my mind wouldn't allow my heart to let it go fully. I never wanted to let myself feel the pain, so I kept one foot in, and allowed only a toe in the pool of despair.
I realize this was a bad move. Sometimes, you just have to let it all go, (please refer to post below).
I learned something about myself long ago, something I truly hate, but fear I may never change.
It takes me about 3 times to learn a solid life lesson.
I blame it on Disney mostly, but I have this overwhelming belief in love and I call it "hope."
I fell in love with a person because of the hope I felt. (Ridiculous reason if you ask me)
I gave my all to him and he trampled me to the pits of doom. He used my good qualities to get his way, and forcefully took them from me when I tried hard to keep them to myself.
Third time is a charm. My heart no longer feels the love I once felt, and frankly my mind is beyond fed up, not only with him, but myself.
Fire burns deep down in my soul, and it has ignited my strength.
Luckily, another thing I believe in, is karma. Yes, I believe we could have had it all- if he would have changed his ways long ago, but now- now, he will get it all.
All I can say, is watch out, and don't underestimate the things that I will do to ensure we both get what we deserve.
love this song! it is you. having a profound experience not at all related to yours while listening to this song right now. having just (literally) finished reading On the Road, I am struck by the beat (pun intended) and the fundamental longing for a missing, crazy mixed up character like Dean Moriarty.
ReplyDeleteI get it. also, still loving and feeding the fish.