Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Never Look Back

I upgraded to a better music player.  Sounds better, works better, and is not in anyway affiliated with crapspace.

One of my favorite Radiohead songs:  I Might Be Wrong



This song mellows me out and reminds me of myself and where I've been.  I recall a time when I used to have nothing to do but ride around in a car in the sunshine all day.  Why can't life be that easy now? 

Now, I don't even have a car.  I have a nice rental, and I'll bother the crap out of the necessary banking people to get a new better one (trust me) and that will fix that, but honestly...Where did the "good times" go?  Getting a job, graduating college, entering into the real world sucks. Turns out, once you are here, you are stuck. 

I have a clear memory of riding on the bus with my best friend and we put our future on this precise timeline.  Go to college, get married, have babies and the like.  I've realized now, that my time line cut off at the age of 25.  I guess I figured by that age I should have my sh*t together.

At this point, I have let 10-year-old Me down substantially. 

4 comments:

  1. this happens to everyone. EVERYONE. Don't let anyone tell you it didn't and don't assume that since someone seems to have it all together that this was not the case for them. And, I firmly believe the people to accept and embrace this "difficult" part of life end up better in the long run. And those of us who had to deal with particularly difficult times (car accidents,eviction, arrest and repossession) value the success at the end of the struggle more.

    I often say, your early to mid 20s are the time when life is difficult, and you figure out who you are by how you deal with the dramatic life circumstances karma throws at you.By the time you are 30, it calms down.

    Dont worry about not being where you thought you would be by a certain age. You were just trying on conform into the generalized ideology of what being an adult means.

    And, i have to say, (despite my current stress level) waiting to get married was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Waiting until you find the perfect partner is more important than filling that slot in what is supposed to happen in your life. This is a hard lesson to learn-- because all of our lives we have been taught that there are things you are "supposed" to do. It takes much more courage to think (and color) outside of the lines.

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  2. 25.... Twenty-five happened. It truly is the awakening. I could talk at length about my own twenty-five experience, but it's the same as everyone's. Numbness and a kind of unconsciousness for an entire year. It's like the threshold age, and at twenty-six to twenty-eight it's trying to figure out why the hell twenty-five was so weird. I've developed the hypothesis that twenty-five is just panic and urgency. It's realizing that "I had better start doing something". My subconscious starting yelling at me "hey, this partying every night thing is never going to change, you had better get your shit together (enter Andrea thank God) and do something like getting a career so you can become remarkably average and ordinary like everyone else". Bitter sweet. That's what my tested hypothesis has proven of 25. Wouldn't change any of the rough times I've had for anything in the world.

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  4. [Edited from previous]

    Oh... I love 'I Might Be Wrong' too. Listened to it today on the way home from Olypia Fields. Great tune.. Radiohead's song 'There There' from 'Hail to the Thief' is a great one too. It's actually very fitting for my "25" babbling. Chorus is "Just cause' you feel it, doesn't mean it's there". Perfect.

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